


Return to Sender

by Never_Says_Die



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Baby!Durins, Gen, cavity-inducing fluff, kink meme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-04
Updated: 2013-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:23:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Says_Die/pseuds/Never_Says_Die
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kink meme fill wherein little!Fili really wants a baby sister instead of a baby brother.  So, when his parents fail to provide one, he dresses littler!Kili up in one of his old shirts, puts a few ribbons in his hair, and declares that Kili is his sister now.  </p><p>Dis is highly amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Return to Sender

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I don't even know. I got really bored whilst my brother-in-law was watching the Super Bowl on the tv tonight. 
> 
> I'm imagining Kili as the dwarf equivalent of, like, two in this and Fili as a six or seven year old.

When Mama takes him in her lap, running her fingers through his hair, and tells him in a quiet, gentle voice that he’s going to be a big brother, he doesn’t quite understand what she means at first. When she talks about a new baby coming, he glances wildly around the room, as though she and Da have hidden it somewhere. Mama just laughs, kissing him on the forehead and shaking her head. 

Eventually, he comes to understand that the babe is growing _inside_ of Mama—though he’s a bit fuzzy on just where there is going to be room for a whole new dwarf inside of her—and that the new little one won’t be here for some months, yet. Mama and Da speak to him often of his new brother or sister, telling him in bright, happy voices that he shall be the oldest, that he will get to teach them all sorts of things, and always have someone to play with when the baby gets older. 

Sometimes, at night, he hears them whisper in different voices, voices that don’t sound as happy and bright. They ask each other how they will feed another mouth, and if Uncle Thorin and Mister Dwalin have sent word about whether they’ve found work, yet. He doesn’t understand what they are talking about—there is _always_ plenty of food. Sometimes Da even eats so much while he is out of the house that he has to ask Fili and Mama to eat his share of supper! 

He doesn’t pay those nights much mind, much more interested in the way Mama’s belly is slowly growing rounder and rounder. By the time Uncle and Mister Dwalin return to them ahead of winter, Mama is so big that Uncle Thorin can barely get his arms around her. He does his best, though, nearly lifting her off her feet before he presses his hand to her belly with a large smile, feeling the baby kick like Fili likes to do. 

Uncle is still smiling when he turns to Fili, bending down and scooping him up into his arms. Fili laughs in delight, throwing his arms around his neck and squeezing fiercely. He sits on Uncle’s knee far into the night—long past his bedtime—and listens with wide eyes to his stories of all that he and Mister Dwalin had seen on the road and in the towns of men. It is only when Mama is clucking softly and shooting telling looks towards the little room where Fili sleeps, that Uncle finally stops speaking and hoists him into his arms. 

“Tell me lad,” Uncle whispers as he sets him down on his bed and starts tucking the blankets up around his chin. “Is it a brother or sister you are hoping for?”

Fili wrinkles his nose and turns over on his side. “Sister!” he says firmly. 

He’s had plenty of time to think about it, and after all the things some of the older boys in the settlement have told him, he is very sure of that. He doesn’t need a brother…sees no reason that he should want someone to have to share _all_ his toys with, or have tagging along after him all the time. A sister, though, a sister he can be excited about. A sister won’t want to play with all his toys, or go everywhere he does. A sister will be someone he can always protect and take care of. 

Uncle laughs, a deep, warm sound that never fails to make Fili feel happy inside.

* * * *

He doesn’t get his wish. 

A few weeks later, he is sent to stay with Mister Gloin and his wife for a day and a night, and when Da comes to bring him back home, he finds a squashed, red, snuffling bundle in a cradle by his parents’ bed. 

“Say hello to your new brother,” Mama says quietly, tilting the cradle so that he can see better. “His name is Kili.” Mama is pale and tired-looking, and so he does his best to keep his disappointment off his face. 

“Hello, Kili,” he says dutifully, looking down doubtfully at the babe. He doesn’t look like much—all red face and a tuft of dark hair. Fili holds out one hand and pokes the blankets a little, causing his brother—and he feels another little stab of disappointment—to smack his lips, tiny brow scrunching up as his eyes blink open. Almost immediately, the baby’s face screws up into a frown, his cheeks getting redder as he opens his mouth and _squalls_. Fili hastily backs away from the cradle, clapping his hands over his ears as Mama leans over and starts making shushing noises. 

He doesn’t argue when Da starts herding him out of the room, saying Fili should come and help with supper and he can hold his new brother later. He doesn’t really want to hold his brother. Or play with his brother. Or really have anything to _do_ with his brother.

*

Having a little brother isn’t so bad when Kili is still a baby. Fili even gets to a point where he enjoys helping Mama with Kili…changing him and feeding him and giving him his baths. Da is often away now with Uncle and Mister Dwalin, always looking for work in the nearby towns, and the lines around Mama’s eyes ease a little whenever Fili can help her with his brother. 

Kili isn’t a bad baby, really. He is usually quite happy, and only cries when he’s hungry or needs changing. Fili thinks his brother’s giggles are funny, and he can’t help but be proud when Kili’s first words are a screeched “Fee! Fee!” while his pudgy hands reach for Fili from across the room. 

He just still wishes for a sister. Not…not all the time. He does _love_ Kili, after all. Just—as Kili gets older, starts walking and running, talking in gurgled words and then clearer sentences, Fili remembers more and more often why he had wanted a sister in the first place. 

Kili gets into _everything_. His toys, his snacks, his clothes. It seems sometimes that he can hardly turn around without finding Kili right there behind him, watching him with big, dark eyes, and trying to do whatever he is doing. He doesn’t…he just doesn’t like it. No one ever asked him if he wanted a little brother to have to share everything with. If he _had_ to have a sibling, couldn’t Mama have at least given him a sister, like he wanted? 

Why couldn’t Kili have been a girl? 

And then one day, he gets a perfect idea. 

It’s a rainy, windy day—far too wet and cold to go and play outside. Mama is baking bread for the coming week—an activity he and Kili are barred from ever since that time he dropped a whole sack of flour on the floor—and she has asked Fili to take his brother into their room and play quietly. Fili is sitting cross-legged on the bed they share, crashing a pair of carved wooden horses Uncle brought for him last time he visited together and pretending they are having an epic battle. He’s given Kili a couple of his old toy-soldiers to mess about with on the floor, and he’s ignoring the way Kili keeps casting longing looks at the horses as he half-heartedly marches one of the soldiers across the floorboards. 

Eventually, Kili gets bored with the toys and starts wandering around the room, poking at their few possessions. Fili looks up every now and again to make sure his brother isn’t getting into something he shouldn’t, but for the most part, he just concentrates on his game. He doesn’t feel like playing with Kili today, doesn’t feel like sharing his toys or being a ‘good big brother’ like Mama and Da and Uncle are always reminding him to be. 

So involved is he in the story he’s spinning in his head that it takes him a few minutes to realize that Kili has gone quiet, except for some odd rustling of cloth. When Fili finally glances at his little brother again, he immediately scrambles off the bed. 

“Kili!” he snaps. “Don’t! Mama’ll be mad if ya’ make a mess.” Kili just looks up at him innocently—grin still more gums than teeth--as he goes on pulling all of Fili’s clean clothes out of the small dresser they share. 

“Mine!” Kili giggles, trying to pull the sleeve of one of Fili’s tunics over his head. “I wear, Fee, I wear!” 

Fili sighs, and starts putting his clothes back into the drawer Kili has worked open, leaving his brother to try and tug the sleeve down over his ears. “S’not yours,” he grumbles. “It’s too big.” 

Kili doesn’t seem to mind, quickly giving up on yanking the sleeve on and grabbing the bottom of the tunic to try and stick his arm through. His dark hair is a mess, tangled and sticking straight up in some places. “On, on, on, Fee!” he chants, and Fili rolls his eyes. 

When he turns back to grab the tunic, though, he stops. Kili is standing up, bent at the waist as he tries to tug the tunic over his head again—this time the proper way, though the tunic is backwards. Fili watches a moment…and gets an idea. He crawls forward and gently takes the hem of his tunic from Kili’s small hands, turning it around and pulling it down over his brother’s head. Kili crows as soon as his head pops through the neck, jumping up and down as Fili tries to pull his arms through the sleeves. 

“Mine! I wear! I wear!” Kili giggles, and starts spinning around. The tunic, simple homespun cloth, but warm and soft—falls past his knees and the sleeves are too long. It looks like…well, it looks like a dress. Fili grins, the idea taking firm shape in his head. 

“Stay right here,” he says, and hops up. He darts out of their room and sneaks down the short hallway between their room and their parents’. He can hear Mama singing softly in the only other room of their small house, turning dough out onto the table to knead. Quick as he can, he runs into his parents’ room and over to the little wooden box Mama keeps on the table by their bed. It only takes him a moment to grab what he needs, and then he is running back into his bedroom.

Kili is more or less right where he left him, sitting on the floor now and gnawing happily on one of the toy soldiers Fili had let him play with. The tunic is bunched up around his legs and Fili’s grin gets wider as he plops down behind his brother. This is the best idea ever! 

“Hold still, Kili,” he mumbles, grabbing a handful of Kili’s dark hair and trying to twist it into a little tail the way he’s seen Mama do to hers. His own hair isn’t long enough for braids, yet, and Kili’s barely touches the collar of the tunic. Even so, he manages to get a good chunk, and quickly pulls one of Mama’s ribbons out from where he’s tucked them into his belt. It takes him a few tries, especially with Kili squirming, but he eventually manages to tie the ribbon around the little tail of Kili’s hair. 

Kili sits still for him for several minutes, letting him tie three more ribbons in his hair, before finally getting bored and shifting away. Fili lets him, nodding to himself with a proud smile. There. That’s much better. 

“Mama!” he calls. “Mama, come look at Kili!” 

There is a sudden burst of sound from the kitchen, and Mama’s footsteps come hurrying down the hall far faster than Fili was expecting. She bursts through their door only a few seconds later, wiping her hands on her apron. 

“What? What’s happened?” she demands, and Fili leaps up to his feet, pointing proudly at where Kili is marching one of the soldiers across the blankets on their bed. “Oh…oh Fili, what _have_ you done?” Mama asks, raising one hand to her mouth. Her shoulders are shaking a little, her eyes crinkling up the way they do when she’s about to start laughing. 

“Wha’done!” Kili chirps back happily. “Wha’done Fee!” 

Fili raises his chin. “I made Kili a girl, Mama.” He doesn’t know why she’s asking…he thinks it’s pretty plain what he’s done. “He’s my sister now.” 

“I…I can see that,” Mama says slowly. Kili has abandoned the solider and is back to spinning in circles, giggling when the bottom of the tunic flares out. “Is there a reason you turned Kili into a girl?” 

“’Cause it’s better,” Fili shrugs. It _is_ better. Now he won’t have to share all his toys—girls like dolls and things better, right? And he won’t have to take Kili everywhere and show him things, and have Kili following him all over the place. 

“Mmmhmm,” Mama says quietly, her eyes going narrow and thoughtful. “Well, if you _truly_ wish for a sister, I suppose that would be all right.” Mama smiles a little, the weird sort of smile she gets sometimes when he or Kili does something the adults call ‘precious’. He doesn’t quite know what that word means, but he always gets the feeling they’re laughing at him and Kili when they use it. “Do you mind if we ask your Da and Uncle Thorin what they think before we go and buy Kili some proper skirts, though?” 

Fili shrugs again, laughing a little when Kili finally makes himself so dizzy he falls over. “I guess,” he says. 

“Well, that’s settled, then. Now, why don’t you two come and play in the other room, while I put the bread in the oven? It’s nearly time for lunch.” She doesn’t wait for an answer, just sweeps back out of the room. Fili helps Kili up, steadying him when he starts weaving on his feet. 

“Up, Fee,” Kili demands, holding his chubby arms up and pouting a bit. Fili huffs a little, but leans down and wraps his arms around Kili’s waist. He’s too small yet to pick Kili up for real, but he manages to carry him down the hall, stopping every few steps to set Kili down and get a grip on his waist again. 

“You know,” Mama says as they come into the kitchen area. “I suppose it’s a good thing Kili is your sister, now.” She takes two bowls down and starts spooning some of the soup that’s been cooking on the hearth into them. 

“Uh-huh,” he agrees, helping Kili up onto one of the benches by the table. 

“Yes, it’ll be much easier for you to have a sister. Kili probably won’t want to play with your toys all the time, right?” 

“Right,” he says, glad she’s seeing things his way. 

“Yes, and I imagine Kili will stay here with me more often, not be following you everywhere when you want to go play with your friends.” 

“Tha’s right.” He helps Kili kneel up on the bench, rolling the too-long sleeves of the tunic up over his hands. Mama sets one of the bowls in front of Fili, and then sits down on Kili’s other side to feed him. 

“Yes, and when you start training with Thorin and Mister Dwalin, Kili won’t have as many lessons as you…he’ll learn weapons, of course, but sisters aren’t always warriors. I expect Kili will only have to learn to use a sword.” 

“Yeah, that’s—wait, what?” He pauses with his spoon halfway to his mouth. 

“Mmmhmm—you won’t have to practice with Kili very much. And dresses are very impractical for riding in. I don’t suppose Kili will need you to teach him how to ride a pony.” 

“Oh. But _you_ can ride a pony,” he says slowly. 

“Yes, but I don’t do so very often. I’ve only gone on two patrol rides since you and Kili were born. No, Kili will be staying with me most of the time…learning how to be a proper dwarf-maid.” 

Fili wrinkles his nose, and Mama suddenly turns her face away, coughing into her shoulder in a way that sounds an awful lot like laughter. “Yes, it’s much better if Kili’s a girl now. This was an excellent idea, Fili. I’m sure you’ll have much more fun going on adventures with Uncle Thorin and learning how to be a prince of Durin’s line by yourself.” 

“I didn’t say that!” Fili says, slapping his spoon down on the table. “I didn’t mean I don’ want Kili to go a’venturing with me! I wanna teach Kili how t’ride a pony. An’ I wanna practice weapons with him!” 

Mama turns back to him, blinking with wide eyes. “Well…but that’s what big brothers do for their beloved little brothers, my darling. If you don’t want Kili to be your brother anymore…”

“But I do!” Fili turns and starts tugging at the ribbons in Kili’s hair. “I want Kili to be my brother again! I love my brother!” 

Kili turns, startled at Fili’s shout. The ribbon comes away in Fili’s hand. Kili blinks at him, before reaching up to pat his cheek. “Wuv Fee,” he burbles, and Fili swings around on the bench to start pulling the rest of the ribbons free from his hair. 

“Oh. Well, if you insist,” Mama says calmly, and reaches over to start helping him. She’s got that tone in her voice again, the one that Fili is so sure means she’s laughing at him…but he’s too upset at the thought of not getting to do all the things he _had_ wanted to do with Kili to care.

* * *

Later that night, he and Kili are tucked up into bed. Kili is dead asleep, thumb in his mouth and head nestled on Fili’s shoulder. Fili is almost asleep when he hears Mama start telling Da and Uncle about him trying to turn Kili into a girl…and he can’t help but get annoyed when the adults burst into loud laughter. He _knew_ Mama was joking on him earlier!

“And pray tell, dear sister…did you inform my nephew that our maidens are every bit as fierce as our men? As I recall, it was many a year before I could best my little sister with a blade…and I’m still not entirely sure you weren’t _letting_ me win.” 

Fili wants to sit up at that, and go storming into the common room to demand to know what Uncle means by that. If Kili being a girl _didn’t_ mean he couldn’t go on adventures with Fili, or would need Fili to teach him how to ride a pony, then why did Mama even say anything? Kili snuffles, though, pushing closer to him in his sleep. Fili reaches up to rub his nose, staring down at the dark outline of Kili’s hair for a few moments. 

Well...maybe having a little brother isn’t _so_ bad. 

At any rate, he supposes he can wait a little while and see.


End file.
